Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I could make wine with my vomit
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
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