this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
pop tarts are not kleenex
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
