wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.