I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything