yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober