I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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