Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
