it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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