dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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