so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
