Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
