we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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