Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
My ATM looks so different sober.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
3pm strippers are depressing
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
