so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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