Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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