my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
