i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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