You're completely useless in the revolution.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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