I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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