did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
