I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize