my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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