The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
