She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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