Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
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then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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