oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
