I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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