I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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