so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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