I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
