I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize