omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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