If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
