Me. At least after what I've been through.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize