So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
