It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
