You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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