Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
