And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
What a dumb baby whore.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
