i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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