Porn is love you can see.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
