He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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