just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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