hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i think i scared a bird with my dick
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
