It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
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It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
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I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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