That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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