She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
