There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
