I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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