Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
