Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
