dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
