Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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