did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
