Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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