I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
We had to coat check the pizza.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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