where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
