Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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