I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Randomize
