whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
