Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Just invented taco cereal.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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