Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I am puke
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
