a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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