Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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