Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
