i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
