They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize