she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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